Attracting Love

The LAW OF ATTRACTION... WTAF is it? And why is it NOT working for you?

The Law Of Attraction is bandied about these days like wild fire.  Celebrities, CEOS, coaches, gurus.. you name it, THEY LOVE IT!

 
So, WTAF is the Law of Attraction?  And how does it work?  

AND, DOES IT EVEN WORK?!?!

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Simply put the Law of Attraction is the universal law that states that every person has the ability to attract things into their lives through their own thoughts and intentions.
 

The Law Of Attraction states, that if someone is thinking and believing negative things all the time, they will attract negative things into their experience.  If someone is thinking and believing positivity things all the time, they will attract that into their experience.  In theory, ( and how most people speak about it) people can use the Law of Attraction to attract situations, experiences, money, people and even, material objects into their life.

 
(Before we move ahead, I will be referring to the Law of Attraction from here on out as LOA, to streamline this a bit, for me and you.)

 

A great deal about what is said about the LOA is only HALF the story! 

Attraction is ONE OF TWO forces contained in magnetism. The other is REPULSION.  Magnetism does not operate without out both poles. In other words, if you accept that you ate currently attracting elements (both good and bad) into your life, then you must accept you are repelling elements (both good and bad) as well, simultaneously.  In fact, you are probably repelling a lot more than you are attracting!  Your entire life experience, everything you have attracted to you, is very small in comparison to all the possibilities that are being repelled. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are good reasons to repel more than we attract. One reason, of course, is that if we attracted ALL THE THINGS, it would be quite overwhelming!
 
I had three simultaneous really wonderful job offers once, and it was absolute agony trying to decipher which one was the right choice!  What if that was ten offers? Twenty? 

Head. Officially. Done. In.


The LOA claims that by focusing in our intentions, words and actions towards the things we want to attract, that is exactly what comes our way.  If we are focusing in on all the things we DO NOT want, then similarly, those are the things we attract.  If you pick up your phone for a online dating swipe fest, filled with dread, wondering just how the people on the app will be wrong for you AND disappoint you... If you enter into this engagement filled with the conviction that you will be ghosted, waste your time and find catfishes galore, then THAT is exactly what you will find during your swipe-o-rama.

If we drop out the ‘WOO’ factor completely...

We can prove out time and time again that, changing or mind-set, being more positive, has a profound effect on our confidence, however it also has a profound effect on our physicality.  Our tone, stature, body language and even how widely and genuinely we smile, is impacted, which of course is going to also hugely impact out engagement with other people and things!  Even in the virtual world, on the days we are seeking the negative, we will find our eyes drawn to just that.

 
*WARNING* the Law of Attraction is SO MUCH MORE than simply sitting around thinking positively about how everything is possible and chanting ‘Manifest! Manifest! Manifest!!’  

It’s is and needs to be so much more than repetitively thinking, saying and setting our intention, with ideas and statements like, “I will have lots of money” or “I will have all the love”.    

Affirmations will not do the trick alone!

 

Please DO read on, as these next TWO crucial bits are what will, either make the Law of Attraction actually work, or not work! 

 

For LOA to be functional, there must be CLARITY. 

We must know exactly what we want and need in which to to attract it.  The LOA requires us to use acute visualizations and descriptors for our thoughts and mindset of what we want to have, be and do, in order to consistently call it out to the universe, and attract it.

 

LOAClarityMEME.jpg

 

If I walk down the street, yelling,  'JOB JOB, I NEED A JOB. ANY OL’ JOB. I WANT A JOB!'

I may actually attract some job offers.  Do I want to work in the mobile phone store? Or the flower shop?  NO?  Oh, well maybe we should be saying.. JOB! JOB!, I want a digital marketing job with a fortune 500 in San Francisco, JOB!  

 
Similarly, it is incredibly helpful to boost our positive thinking with “I am ready for love” or 'I am lovable” however, that’s not using the LOA. 

If you walk down the street chanting 'LOVE, LOVE SEND ME THE LOVE, ALLLLL THE LOVE. ' The Universe may very well respond…  with a puppy!  Erm, helllllo, PUPPY!!!!! OMG!!!  HOWEVER, I bet you meant something, a bit different?  We don’t want just ANYONE who wants to love us… someone with a pulse, a plausible sex addiction and £/$200K in debt, though crazy in love with you they may be, is not the look or the partner, you’re going for!

 

“BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU WISH FOR. 

 

And I do mean, TAKE GREAT CARE…

Take great care and time, and energy, heck” even some money AND get crystal clear on what exactly want to use the LOA for... visualize, journal, speak with people who love you about it, take a long hard look at your past, get a coach, see a therapist...do whatever it takes, so you can craft a clear picture and concept around love, your future soul mate & partnership.    
 
 
 
Last, MAGNIFICENT, life changing part of the LOA?

Alright, in order to get to that I NEED to say this next thing...

One of the largest proponents for LOA, is 'THE SECRET'. 
 
Straight up, I'm NOT A FAN of The Secret.  Lemme tell ya why! 

The Secret, in a nutshell, asks us to visualize and act as if our future intent is already our present. 
 
And now, we’re back on to that street… chanting I AM A LOTTERY WINNER, I AM A LOTTERY WINNER, I AM A…
 
Hold up mi’lady.  Have you even bought a lottery ticket?  Oh, no?  Erm….


 
Now, how about chanting “I AM MARRIED. I HAVE A FAMILY. I AM MARRIED. I HAVE A FAMILY!”
 Oh boy. Who's looking all crazy pants on the street now? 

And again...  "Are you actively dating right now?  Oh, I see. You took yourself off all the dating apps and don't leave your house other than to go to work?!?!  Erm...


What’s really interesting, is many of the original Secreters (is that a thing?)  who traveled the world speaking about and teaching this, are now reporting back something really important.  They say, if they could do it, write that book, all over again… they would add one TREMENDOUS things that is currently missing.   ACTION!

ACTION!!!!!!

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Here’s is the deal.  For the LOA to work, YOU MUST BE DOING!  You must take actions, take risk, make time (oh yeah, no overnight sensations) and even spend some MONEY, to attract the things you want.

Its gonna take some WERRRRK, girl.  Hard, worthy work! 

I can and do give the women I coach all the heart mending, mind blowing, world changing tools & techniques in the world, however if they don’t TAKE ACTION… by embracing them, trying them AND take the show on the road… ZERO RESULTS!  WOMP WOMP.

However, when THEY 'DO', take those brave actions, step out on some faith and take all the magic, out on the road... WOWZA!

 

In closing;
Being open minded to new ideas, to new possibilities plays and taking on a more positive mindset, is step 1 of LOA.
 
Being honest, and I mean dig deep, SHAME FREE, honest about what and who you are looking for in a relationship and partner to create that crystal clear visualization is step 2 of LOA.
 
And being WILLING, to do the work, to take some risks, to take action on those new ideas, new adventures. To push yourself way beyond where you have been, is the final CRUCIAL step of LOA.


If you want something new & different, then you are going to have to DO something new & different!

 
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The LAW OF ATTRACTION... WTAF is it? And why is it NOT working for you?

The Law Of Attraction is bandied about these days like wild fire.  Celebrities, CEOS, coaches, gurus.. you name it, THEY LOVE IT!

 
So, WTAF is the Law of Attraction?  And how does it really work?

image: unsplash.com

image: unsplash.com

Simply put the Law of Attraction is the universal law that states that every person has the ability to attract things into their lives through their own thoughts and intentions.
 

If someone is thinking and believing negative things all the time, they will attract negative things into their experience.  If someone is thinking and believing positivity things all the time, they will attract that into their experience.  In theory, ( and how most people speak about it) people can use the Law of Attraction to attract situation, experiences and even, material objet into their life.

 
(Before we move ahead, I will be referring to the Law of Attraction from here on out as LOA, to streamline this a bit, for me and you.)


 

A great deal about what is said about the LOA is only HALF the story! 

Attraction is ONE OF TWO forces contained in magnetism. The other is REPULSION.  Magnetism does not operate without out both poles. In other words, if you accept that you ate currently attracting elements (both good and bad) into your life, then you must accept you are repelling elements (both good and bad) as well, simultaneously.  In fact, you are probably repelling a lot more than you are attracting!  Your entire life experience, everything you have attracted to you, is very small in comparison to all the possibilities that are being repelled. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are good reasons to repel more than we attract. One reason, of course, is that if we attracted ALL THE THINGS, it would be quite overwhelming!
 
I had three simultaneous really wonderful job offers once, and it was absolute agony trying to decipher which one was the right choice!  What if that was ten offers? Twenty? 

Head. Officially. Done. In.


 
Of course, changing or mindset, being more positive has a profound effect on our confidence, however it also has a profound effect on our physicality.  Our tone, stature, body language and even how widely and genuinely we smile, is impacted, which of course is going to also hugely impact out engagement with other people and things!

 
But the Law of Attraction is SO MUCH MORE than simply sitting around thinking positively about how everything is possible and chanting ‘Manifest! Manifest! Manifest!!’  
 

It’s is and needs to be so much more than repetitively thinking, saying and setting our intention, with ideas and statements like, “I will have lots of money” or “I will have all the love”.    

Affirmations will not do the trick alone!

 

Darling %FIRSTNAME%,  please DO read on, as these next TWO crucial bits are what either make the Law of Attraction actually work or not work!

 

For LOA to be functional, there must be CLARITY. 

We must know exactly what we want and need in which to to attract it.  The LOA requires us to use acute visualizations and descriptors for our thoughts and mindset of what we want to have, be and do, in order to consistently call it out to the universe, and attract it.

 

If I walk down the street, yelling JOB JOB, I NEED A JOB. ANY OL’ JOB. I WANT A JOB!

I may actually attract some job offers.  Do I want to work in the mobile phone store? Or the flower shop?  NO?  Oh, well maybe we should be saying.. JOB! JOB!, I want a digital marketing job with a fortune 500 in San Francisco, JOB!  

 
Similarly, it is incredibly helpful to boost our positive thinking with “I am ready for love” or 'I am lovable” however, that’s not using the LOA. 

If you walk down the street chanting 'LOVE, LOVE SEND ME THE LOVE, ALLLLL THE LOVE. ' The Universe may very well respond…  with a puppy!  Which, I mean PUPPY (!!!OMG!!!) HOWEVER, I bet you meant something, a bit different.  We don’t want just ANYONE who wants to love us… someone with a pulse, a plausible sex addiction and £/$200K in debt, though crazy in love with you they may be, is not the look you’re going for!

 

BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU WISH FOR.  TAKE GREAT CARE…

Take great care and time, and energy, heck even some money AND get crystal clear on what exactly want to use the LOA for... visualize, journal, speak with people who love you about it, take a long hard look at your past, get a coach, see a therapist...do whatever it takes, so you can craft a clear picture and concept around love, your future soul mate & partnership.    
 
 
 
Last, MAGNIFICENT, life changing part of the LOA?

Alright, in order to get to that I NEED to say this next thing...

One of the largest proponents for LOA, is THE SECRET. 
 
Straight up, I'm NOT A FAN of The Secret.  Lemme tell ya why! 

The Secret, in a nutshell, asks us to visualize and act as if our future intent is already our present. 
 
Back on to that street… chanting I AM A LOTTERY WINNER, I AM A LOTTERY WINNER, I AM A…
 
Hold up.  Have you even bought a lottery ticket?  Oh, no?  Um….


 
Now, how about “I AM MARRIED. I HAVE A FAMILY. I AM MARRIED. I HAVE A FAMILY!”
 
Oh boy. Who's looking all crazy pants on the street now? 
 
What’s really interesting, is many of the original Secreters (is that a thing?)  who traveled the world speaking about and teaching this, are now reporting back something really important.  They say, if they could do it, write that book, all over again… they would add one TREMENDOUS things that is currently missing.   ACTION!


 

Here’s is the deal.  For the LOA to work, YOU MUST BE DOING!  You must take actions, risk, time (oh yeah, no overnight sensations) and even MONEY, to attract the things you want.

Its gonna take some WERRRRK, girl.  Hard, worthy work! 
 

I can and do give the women I coach all the heart mending, mind blowing, world changing tools & techniques in the world, however if they don’t TAKE ACTION… by embracing them, trying them AND take the show on the road… ZERO RESULTS!  WOMP WOMP.

However, when THEY 'DO', take those brave actions, step out on some faith and take all the magic, out on the road... WOWZA!

In closing;
Being open minded to new ideas, to new possibilities plays and taking on a more positive mindset, is step 1 of LOA.
 
Being honest, and I mean dig deep, SHAME FREE, honest about what and who you are looking for in a relationship and partner to create that crystal clear visualization is step 2 of LOA.
 
And being WILLING, to do the work, to take some risks, to take action on those new ideas, new adventures. To push yourself way beyond where you have been, is the final CRUCIAL step of LOA.

 
If you want something new & different, then you are going to have to DO something new & different!



 
 

I went LIVE about this very topic just the other day in the FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE facebook group.  All day, every day, I am in that group handing out inspiration, tips, techniques and so much love...

YOU should totally JOIN OUR GIRL GANG!

FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE - A Facebook Group, of community & solidarity, for fierce like-minded women out in the jungle looking for love!

FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE - A Facebook Group, of community & solidarity, for fierce like-minded women out in the jungle looking for love!

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Oh shit. They’re cute & coming over here, RUN!!!!

“I can’t just walk up to people and start chatting them up, I get all flustered and tongue tied!”

         “I don’t know how to talk to people I fancy.”

                  “The moment I know they’re interested, I run in the other direction.”

                                "I don’t know what to say or where to even begin.”

Sound familiar?

 

You’re not alone.   It’s one of the more common problems clients come to me for help.

 

Is it low confidence? Poor self-esteem? OR just old fashioned lack of charisma?

ALL THE ABOVE, DOLL.

 

Want TWO quick tools, you can start using today, that nails all three???

Who wouldn’t, right?

 

Charisma is how people are drawn to engage with others. It is not about being the loudest cheekiest person in the room. Charisma is not an arena only for the extroverted!  Introverts as well, can attract others to them, like bees to honey, too! 

 

Confidence is our outward bravery. It’s what we show the rest of the world.  Being brave enough to take up that bit more space in a room and to be unafraid to shine brighter.  It’s temporary, but don’t let that word freak you out, temporary is what confidence does best, it just means it has an expiration date.

 

Self Esteem, is our inward bravery.  What we know to be the truth about ourselves, our value, as measured by us and no one else.  It must come from within.  Ya’ know when your friends tell you how great you look, but you don’t believe that to be true, your self-esteem buckles and you give them an eye roll or even feel a sense of shame flush your cheeks in response to the compliments?  Yeah. Self-esteem must come from within. And the expiration date of our confidence is directly linked to our sense of self-worth.

 

 

Discover and immerse yourself into your passions and things you love

1.     Charisma: When we are immersed in our passions, hobbies, etc. we are filled with excitement and conviction AND when we talk about what makes us happy, it innately will people will feel good in response.  Everyone loves to be around people who make them feel good. It’s contagious! 

2.     Confidence: We don’t want to cultivate faux confidence or fool hearty bravery, we want to be standing tall in our space.  The more often we are talking about and doing things we genuinely love, our confidence to engage with others in conversation about it, or even invite them along for the ride, soars! 

3.     Self Esteem: We build self-worth by doing worthy things in this life. That is not limited to epic Malala Yousafzai world changing level things; every time we take action to make our lives more bountiful, more fulfilling, and offer contribution we add to our own inner bravery and self worth.  Not only do we feel confident enough to chat about what we are in to with others, we KNOW we have all the proof, actions, and lifestyle to back it up!

 

 

Feel excited when you meet someone.

1.     Charisma: Walk into every date, energized with a high level of excitement. EX. Take a few moments and call on a time you were super excited about.  Your first plane ride?  The day your niece was born?  That moment the call came in that you got the big job?   Step into that moment and channel that excitement… then when you greet them, let that excitement show.  If you are happy when you meet someone, they will also feel happy.  Who doesn’t want to engage with someone who is genuinely overflowing with excitement to be there AND meet them. 

2.     Confidence: What better way to boost our confidence then to recall the factual evidence of other successes and exciting times in our lives?  Confidence isn’t only shown verbally.  Our body language is the difference between walking into a room like we own it AND wall flowering sheepishly through the front door. Conjuring up this confidence by using a prompt from moments we felt joy, transforms our body language.

3.     Self Esteem: GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE!  That’s me, banging my gratitude drum. People who actively curate an attitude of gratitude feed their self-worth feasts o’ plenty.  Every example I gave above of ‘moments’ to remember, are also moments of gratitude.  Every time we utilize gratitude, we build self-esteem.

Take these bad boys on a test drive!  I always love to hear how you get on with applying these two tips into your life and taking the big step to connection!  

 

 

 

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How do you spot the right ones? Core Values and LOVE...

image by Freddy Marshcall via Unsplash

image by Freddy Marshcall via Unsplash

“Begin with the end in mind”.    - Stephen Covey  

That Stephen, he’s a smart cookie.

I can’t say it enough.  Knowing exactly what you are looking for and why, creates a huge shift and mega results in your search for love.  Whether that be, from how you filter out the ones who aren’t right for you,  to manifesting and attracting the ones that are.

I spend a whole lot of time ‘Defining Your Search’ with clients, multiple sessions sometimes, and its the very first thing we discuss in our work together.

Being absolutely clear about what you want AND need in a relationship and a partner, is hugely empowering. 

We want to go from shooting arrows in every direction, wishing and hoping we hit SOMETHING... to shooting arrows in one specific direction, hoping to not just hit something, but SOMEONE, real and right, for us!

It's best, to start with defining a long list of traits we WANT in a partner.

Try to quiet the 'yeah buts' and the 'better keep it realistic' scarcity gremlins in your head.  It's okay to dream a bit here. Let yourself go, doll... promise you want plummet to disaster over a writing exercise!

THEN, we need to have a separate list of exactly what we NEED in a partner and relationship, to be happy and fulfilled, long term.  These are the MUST HAVE'S, the items we know we NEED to be happy and healthy long tern, usually they are also the items that have been deal breakers in the past.

In order to really sort that… we must be concrete about what our values are so this whole ‘happily ever after’ thang, stands a real chance!  

Values are a tricky thing. 

When I ask people what are their core values, we all love to reply with a long list of stunning beauties like honesty, open-mindedness, kindness... to name a few.

Here’s a bomb.  Our core values, aren’t always wearing a flowing silk dress with flawless red lipstick.  Sometimes core values, aren’t very pretty at all.

There are a lot of studies that show that Core Values are developed as early as ages 2-12 years old.  In our ‘download’ formative years. And what we download from our environment, our families, our early social & educational interactions, isn’t always beautiful.  

Core Values are our default drivers. 

They are not who we would like to be, how we are able to be once we have layered in reason, therapy, coaching etc.. they are what is the very first whisper in our ear when a situation arises.  Our worthy instincts AND our feared up gut reaction, in equal parts on some days.

I have worked with clients who have an overwhelming Core Value for financial security, with a point of origin of their family always struggling and moving from town to town for jobs as a child.

This Core Value of Financial Security drives their decision making.

Sometimes for good. Sometimes not. 

 

Economic Security Examples;

We save every dollar/pound we ever make, rarely unless under extreme pressure, opting to treat themselves to an expensive item or even a holiday.

We book the cheaper version of said holiday, because that core value is saying “you can’t spend that much!!” and then wind up on a dismal trip, eying the other holiday makers with envy and kicking ourselves for not upgrading.

In our relationships; We may have a partner who loves to spend money faster than they can make it.  In some ways, they push us out of our comfort zone to upgrade that trip (yay!) but mostly, we find ourselves constantly fighting over money and in a constant state of high anxiety. Both parties feel limited and pressured by the other, and resentment becomes a way of life and love.  No beuno!

 

For the most part, our Core Values, good or bad, cannot be changed easily.  Usually it takes a seismic event, like birth, death or total heartbreak to shift them immediately. 

Someone who’s drive for security has had them working at the same job they hate for years suddenly quits and moves to Thailand to be a yoga instructor after being in a near death car accident.

While, someone who Core Value of freedom has previously driven them to never settle down or commit, takes on a full time job in order to become the best father and partner overnight when they’re child is born.

Core Values are our real-time default drivers, that guide almost every decision we make in our lives.

Getting to terms with what your Core Values are, the handful of ‘MUST HAVES’ is crucial if you want to find a partner who will either share them or compliment them, so you can be happy healthy and free within that relationship for years to come.

 

Divorce and end of long term partnerships are rarely about love lost.  Its often that these two people CAN’T  LIVE TOGETHER ONE MORE MOMENT WITH BLOOD BEING SPILLED or perhaps less gory, they can’t live another moment feeling so stifled and such anxiety every day.  Oh ‘irreconcilable differences’ you nasty little gremlins.  There is a reason that 80% of these splits are over money, parenting and lifestyle. 

And its called CORE VALUES. 

With the couples I work with, more often than not, there core values are out of alignment AND they don’t even know it!

Once you know what truly drives your desires, thoughts, decisions and needs; you can accommodate them.  You can also choose partners who share your values AND even choose partners who offer some values you need, to shake it up.  

Here are a few quick tips to get you started down the very long road of understanding who are what you really are….

 

1 – Engage Compassion. 

This is a journey of self-discovery, lean into the widening space of who you truly are, without judgement, perfection, expectation or punishment. No one is perfect. This is not a journey of change, it’s one of understanding, self awareness  and compassion.

 

2 - Use technology to discover your Core Values

Believe it or not, psychometric tests like Meyer Briggs and DISC are amazing ways to access core values.  I always hated taking them, when applying for jobs, and the pressure of that particular environment often tweaks the results.  I mean come one, have any of us really, REALLY answered all those questions honestly when our next career move was on the line?   I utilize the DISC method with my own clients.

 

3 - Examine your historical data

Taking a hard look at what have been deal breakers in your past relationships, is also most useful. 

 

4- Seek professional expert help.  

Engaging with a coach or therapist who specializes in Core Value work, is the easiest, most epic way to get right down to the root of it, fast!

 

We’ve all heard it from people in long term relationships… the looks fade, the sex mellows; what keeps that little old couple holding hands?  Friendship, compatibility, and living in congruence with their core values.

 

 
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DWF / Dating While Feirce...

“I’m too independent, I scare guys off”

Photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/airfreshing/9537531439/">airFreshing</a> via <a href="https://visualhunt.com/photos/women/">Visualhunt</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">CC BY-ND</a>

Photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/airfreshing/9537531439/">airFreshing</a> via <a href="https://visualhunt.com/photos/women/">Visualhunt</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">CC BY-ND</a>

I read and hear that statement, again and again, from clients, readers and friends.

Our independence, an asset that has gained us much success, happiness and worthiness is every area of our lives, is now somehow working against us, in the arena of love.

The concept that we can be too strong, too independent, too fierce.  That somehow these values we hold so dear, make us less attractive. That WE can be too much of a good thing.

And sometimes it’s true.  Some people are ‘scared off’ or simply not attracted to us because we are fully self-supporting in many areas of our emotional, mental and financial well-being.

Who are these people? 

And why they heck would WE want them??

 

Some of this fear, is tied into scarcity.  The fear that there are not enough potential partners for us. The fear that we are missing out.  The fear that by being too this or too that, we are limiting the chances of love from finding us or us finding it.

Once scarcity takes root in our mind. The brains natural response is to make ourselves scarce too, smaller, LESS of ourselves. We begin to try to moderate ourselves, change who we are or worse, pretend we are something else, to attract what we think we might be missing out on.  Or we embrace defeat before even leaving the house.  We allow scarcity mindset to place us on the backfoot. Our mind fills with “Why bother”, “It’s never going to happen”.  “All men are scared of my independence”,  “Dating is a waste of my time”.   Does that sound like the type of environment that holds fertile soil in which something as beautiful as love can come, take root and grow?

“Your playing small does not serve the world”  - Marianne Williamson

This love thing, is some tender shizzle. I meet women all the time that are so confident, so full of self-worth in work, social networks, activities, travel, home life but once we talk about love, dating and relationships.. YIKES!  It’s scary. Feels so out of our control. A tender plum bruise. And for some of us, it’s not an arena we have a lot of historical success in, to draw on for confidence and self-worth.

And when we are in a state of lowered confidence and self-worth, compromising who we are and what we deserve, becomes an easy step too far to take.

We find ourselves lamenting that this group of people, the ones who do not want someone who is independent, is somehow our loss? 

What if it’s our gain?  What if, by just being exactly who we are, a woman who knows what she wants, when she wants it. And isn’t looking for someone based on getting traditional gender role needs met, but getting desires met ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, was actually weeding these sucka’s out?!  Saving us time, energy and heartache by sparing us upfront from having to spend any real time with them

Photo via  VisualHunt.com

Photo via VisualHunt.com

The reality is, it’s okay to want to feel needed by a partner. Good thing too, because, we do have some needs we would like the right person to meet.  Someone to shower us with affection, kindness, respect. Someone to support us and fight with us to conquer our dreams and goals.  Someone to reach the tin of sweets we put on the highest shelf in the kitchen 6 months ago during a sugar strike!!

If you meet someone and scare them off…BOO! Be gone sucka!  You won’t be too YOU for the right person. They will love you FOR THAT, not in spite of that.  And real love, real partnership will require you to return that same love without condition.

You’re not missing out. Those people are being super helpful but removing themselves, DE-cluttering your path, so the right person… the one who loves you for your independence, can become visible, FAST.

Me and the hubba hubba…doing the pics for our ‘Save The Date’ Wedding invites.

Me and the hubba hubba…doing the pics for our ‘Save The Date’ Wedding invites.

OH! OH! OH! Some exciting news!  I've just launched a CLOSED Facebook group Called Feminista Seeks Love!  It is a safe, women only, supportive space for us to connect, share some funnies, some horror stories, successes, and tips for navigating the jungle that is dating today! Come join us

https://www.facebook.com/groups/939926752808019/

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