First dates

The Sacred Witchcraft of a Good Date, That Has Them Wanting More…

The Sacred Witchcraft of a Good Date, That Has Them Wanting More…

Top Two Techniques to creating attraction and having FUN dating!

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We rose from the ashes... blood and a whole lot of tears to find LOVE!

and YOU can too!

 

Image credit; Photo by  Darius Soodmand  on  Unsplash

Image credit; Photo by Darius Soodmand on Unsplash

 

 

Let's hit the rewind button for a moment...

NYC, 2008; I found myself sitting on my Upper East Side front stoop, in tears, feeling so very left behind, and wondering what the point of it all was.

I had just got off a call, where I was informed of my exclusion from our annual friends ski trip, because it was now a 'couples thing'.   OOOOOF! Right in the stomach! 

My friends, all recently into new relationships, thought they were saving me from an awkward week of being the 7th wheel. All I felt was this absolute confirmation, that I was less than whole for being single AND that I was now firmly running way behind the pack. That they were somehow moving on, and I felt so very stuck. It hurt, and triggered something right to my core.


There I was, strong woman, super successful in my career, a great social life by most standards, living in one of the greatest cities in the world, and feeling so alone and lost. testTHATlower2, I was str8 losing the plot, on my East 87th street building stairs!


I was so far away from my hearts desire, of love and partnership, I might as well have been on the other side of the galaxy.




 

WHY COULDN'T I SEEM TO SORT THIS AREA OUT?

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?

WAS I BROKEN?!?

 

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Hitting rock bottom in dating, saved my love life.

Surrender, saved my sanity.

And a coach, turned my life, right side round.

Waving a white flag and finally asking for help in the arena of love, literally saved my sanity. It empowered me to a level of wonder womaness that I didn't know was possible, and didn't really know was missing!

My self esteem, SOARED! My Confidence BLOSSOMED! And my tolerance for BS in every area of my life, dropped as I learned how to boundary like a boss, and really have my voice heard!



 

Oh, It also netted me the most extraordinary partnership with a truly wonderful human being, who is so very worthy and able of building a life beyond my wildest dreams with!

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Darlin' It ran so much deeper than just getting on on dates.

So much deeper than all the 'drive them crazy for you' tomfoolery I was reading about online.

And it was so not about learning the secret location to the bat cave where all the good men were hiding!

It wasn't easy. It wasn't pretty on some days. But that worthy work, was one of the best decisions and investments in me, I've ever made.



 


Oh, and....

 

I AM NOT ALONE!  

My clients experience this same love life revolution and
deeply personal transformation
!




So much so, they wanted to share their experience, with other women, like YOU!

Here is a quick peek at Katie's story;

Catch Katies full testimonial under my RAVE REVIEWS

Catch Katies full testimonial under my RAVE REVIEWS

 

And the lovely superstar, Ruth! 

Read Ruth's full testimonal under my RAVE REVIEWS

Read Ruth's full testimonal under my RAVE REVIEWS

 

I am filled with such incredible gratitude when I receive these powerful testimonials from my clients.  My heart just swells up against my rib cage with joy!   That I have been able to help them facilitate tangible change in their love lives, AND short circuited the process that took me years AND years of blood, sweat and a whole lotta tears to figure out, simply because I was so convinced, I had to figure this out all on my own!   I look back now, and I realize how crazy pants that was... and how I wouldn't and didn't hesitate to ask for help AND invest time, money and energy in my career, education, social life, heck even my travels... to get the results I wanted!   


I hate to get all bragalicious over here, however one of my superpowers??  I have the actual mileage of working with incredible women and getting them results they never knew possible.

The proof is indeed in the pudding ya'll! 




Can we real talk for a moment here?

There are a lot of folks out there who use the term 'expert' and claim they will help you attract the love of your life in 6 days (?!?!)... I'm not one to mince words, so let me boldly call BULLSH%T!   on all that snake oil shizzle!

Transforming how we seek, attract, give and receive love is truly epic and worthy work, that takes time and a whole lotta heart!


 

Both of which I have no doubt, you have in spades, dearest one!

 

Before I leave you today, I want to let you know, my Spring 2018 Private 1-2-1 Coaching Programs are almost filled to the brim, with just 3 spaces remaining!  If you are serious about revolutionizing your love life, stopping the endless going no where messaging of online dating and start getting out on to real 3d dates, with real 3d people in the real 3d world, the simple truth is, I CAN HELP! 

2018 is cruising at top speed, and if you're not getting anywhere closer to finding that extraordinary partner to share your life with, let's get on the phone and have a chat!  FOR FREE!

I am offering up a my signature FREE 45 minute Breakthrough To Love Call today, so you and I can get right down to it, and start sorting it!

Let's go on a first date, lady!  BOOK YOUR CALL! 

 
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The sacred art of legging it out of a bad date [FIND LOVE]

If you are out there in the wilds of dating, and especially if you are ramping up the tempo of your online dating, mastering the art form that is getting out of a bad date, and doing it fast, is imperative.

There are more reasons for a date to go bad, then there are stars in the night sky. 


Your date…

-       Is rude to everyone that comes within a 1 mile radius of your table.

-       Is flirting with the waitress.

-       Won’t let you get a word in edgewise.

-       Is overpowering you with the aroma of body odor and whiskey.

-       Monotone story telling of the ins and out of their job as a paint peeler has you contemplating sticking a fork in your eye.

-       Shows up for a 2pm museum date still fall down drunk and in their clothes from the night before.

-       Doesn’t even remotely look like their profile pic (seriously, whose picture did they steal for that???)

-       Drops racial slurs like they just graduated the Third Reich SS boarding school

-    OR there is simply no spark whatsoever

 

First things first, you do NOT have to waste hours of your day being polite. 

You do NOT have to tough it out and you DO not have to volunteer yourself as a hostage. 

 

YOU. CAN. LEAVE!

I know. Crazy talk, right?

 

In my days of dating like a boss, learning how to nicely and firmly end a date before PTSD therapy was required, became a necessary survival skill.  AND, when done right, it’s the kindest mercy for everyone involved. 

NO ONE should have to waste their time on a bad date, including the hopeful yet, smelly, talkative, drunk ass person across from you, on it.

 

Here are the top 4 methods to legging it out of a bad date, fast! 

 

 

WONDER WOMAN TO THE RESCUE…
 

Most of us know the old reliable ‘get out of jail’ method.  You have a friend scheduled to call 20-30 minutes’ max into the date with a wild story about how they lost the keys to their house and you? YOU are the only person in the country who has the spare set AND must leave that very minute to meet your friend across town.  (

Generally speaking for safety reasons, its always a good thing to have a friend check in via text shortly into the date starting… in case your date is drinking a find Chianti over a plate of Fava beans!)

 

Photo; Henning Witzel/Unsplash

Photo; Henning Witzel/Unsplash

LIFE'S AN OPEN ROAD…
 

When setting up the date, why not suggest ‘let’s start’ with a coffee or a walk in the park, or drinks etc.. with the caveat that you can see where the night takes you? 

Most people like the spontaneity that this suggests but also they too know that this open-ended option allows breathing room to end the date for both of you. Suggest an activity that takes no more than 30-60 minutes, long enough for you to get to know them a bit, yet short enough to cut your losses and still join your friends after for some fun, If the date’s a non-starter.

 

SET THE CAT AMONGST THE PIGEONS...

Another way of setting the stage for possible escape, is to set the date amongst the pigeons. 

Let your date know, whilst you really want to meet up… you have a dinner that evening for a friend’s birthday, would they like to meet before for drinks around 7? Or, for that walk in the park at noon, you have career defining deadline at work on Monday and loads of prep to do, but an hour walking with them would be just the break you need . 

This method does a few things well. It shows you are keen to see them, to squeeze them in. It shows you have a life, priorities, friends, and ambition.

And if the date it going really well?  Set up for date number two right away! That cat will be just as keen to see you again, but this time for longer. 

The Saturday afternoon I met my now husband for 20-30 minute coffee… it was a ‘drive by’ as I headed uptown from a lunch date to an evening out with friends.  We were out again later that very same week for a proper dinner and aimlessly wandering of the Upper East Side finding excuses to keep talking, that lasted over 5 hours…

 

I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU…  

Empowerment is about finding our voice and living a life of integrity. 

Honesty is always the best policy HOWEVER honesty without compassion, is brutality.  The first time I tried this, I was shocked how well it went. It also was a huge booster to my self esteem.  Learning how to lay down boundaries will do that.  

I literally just waited till a break in the convo (which wasn’t hard, as the convo was painfully stilted!) and said “Hey, I don’t want to waste your time, you seem like a really nice guy, but I am just not feeling any real connection or spark here, wanna call it a night?”   The guy exhaled, laughed and agreed. He was being polite by staying!  

And yes, there was a bit of blubbering tears one time from another date when I suggested we tap each other out of this round. I stayed firm and kind but still got the hell out of there!

We are not going ANYONE any favors by staying past the expiration date!

 

I RIDE ALONE, BABY…

Finally. Never, EVER let them or you do the pick up service on date one. 

Make your own way to the first date is, so you can make your own way out of there at the time that suits you! If they have some elaborate romantic first date plan that involves driving out into the countryside, circle back to  ‘Life’s An Open Road’ and ‘Set the Cat Amongst the Pigeons’ right away lady! 

This last method is also a ‘safety first’ consideration.


 

 

What’s your tried and true method of legging it out of a bad date?  Give us all the dirt in the comments here!  

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