be kind

Self Care During Crisis Tip #6 - Seek Out The Kindness

I hope you found some time for yourself this Easter Weekend.   As you know, I have been offering up Self Care tips, to help you through this very stressful and scary time in our lives.  Self Care is a small part of what I do, to help those who are single AND those who are in relationships, but it has an important impact.  We cannot expect others to solely responsible for caring for our needs, and those who value self care, have healthier relationships! 


Today, I want to talk about the great act of self care that is shifting your every day focus away from negativity, which will only heighten our anxiety levels, and mindfully FOCUSING towards the kindness out there in the world.

 

It is all too easy right now, to be absolutely overwhelmed by the infection levels, death tolls, politics in the news today.   Too easy to allow our entire perspective to be coloured by the rude people in the line at the shops, the reports of people flouting the lock down,  police harassing people who are just going into work because they have to, our healthcare workers struggling without the proper equipment,  and a social media news feed clogged with complaints, insults and fear.

My self care suggestion today, is to zoom in, and ACTIVELY SEEK OUT THE KINDNESS... the helpers, the good stories, the feeling of the rain on your face, the cherry trees fluttering their pink blossoms outside your window.


The stories of an entire village coming to their front doors to sing Happy Birthday to a man turning 100 years old.  


Of Joe Wicks donating all the proceeds from his 'PE for the Nation' classes to the NHS.


Dolly Parton not only donating loads of money to find a vaccine, but also reading us bedtime stories for free!


People who,though on lock down and struggling to make ends meet, are making masks and scrubs for healthcare workers.


Of neighbors and friends, going out of there way to help on another during this pandemic
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I am not saying to ignore the unsavory reality of what's happening!  I am saying, mindfully spend more time and energy on the good, then on the bad

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As I walk down the street taking the dog for a walk, I can choose to stand under the lilac tree, breathing in its sweet fragrant offering AND I can stare at the pile of trash left on the curb that hasn't been picked up for days.

HOWEVER, I NEED RIGHT NOW, to choose to spend more of my time and energy on gently pulling down a low hanging branch of that lilac tree just to really allow it waft all it's glory on me, to notice the blueness of the sky as its glorious backdrop... AND NOT spending way more time and energy complaining about the trash, calling the local authority, calling neighbors to vent etc...

Focus in on the kindness, be the kindness (!) we all need right now, to yourself and others!

Avoid the pitfall of spending way too much time and energy on spiraling down the rabbit hole of doom and gloom, on constantly cycling through transgressions and faults, missteps and villains. 

Make sure you are not only just, balancing it out, but consciously spending MORE time and energy on the good, on SEEKING OUT THE KINDNESS that is out there to be celebrated in spades!

As always, I hope this message inspires you to take care of yourself during this crisis. 

And... I love hearing back from you all on how your are getting on implementing these tips! COMMENT BELOW! :)

 
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Self Care During Crisis Tip#1- How Your Relationship Survives A Pandemic

So, it probably FEELS LIKE day 3,046 of working at home with your partner, right now.  , I get it.  The Hubba Hubba has been working from home since last Friday, and has completely taken over the office, and taken with him, some of sanity and what feels like, all my precious alone time! 


Most of us have our own little worlds, away from our partners.  We have long stretches of time, socializing with colleagues, clients and intense work that requires focus. Or we have the super busy full time job of parenting, and not only is our partner all up in our biz right now, THE SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED??!?!   Lawwwwwd, what fresh hell is this?!  

Suddenly over night, day to day life as we know it has dramatically changed.  And not just in the oh, we share an office now, kinda way... but swirling around out there in the world is a news feed tornado of germs, politics, death tolls, worrying about older family members, empty store shelves, anger, fear, anxiety, denial, misinformation...and for some of us, leaving to go work in the park or at the coffee shop is not even an option, in this post lock down existence!

I overheard a divorce lawyer saying last week, his business would be booming when all the dust settles and the virus clears the air...  YIKES!

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Um, yeah.  So here I am, inboxing you with the first of many self care tips for you, and your relationship!


This tip right here, has been my very own mantra this past 10 days... it has helped keep me centered, calm and present for myself and those I love... on most days.  (Um...I may or may not have fake coughed at the person who was breathing down my neck in line yesterday, while I was giving the person in front of me 6 feet of social distance...)  Ommmmmmmmm  :)

Today, I offer this #1 tip, my mantra, up on the altar of self care during crisis!

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BE KIND & QUICK TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS, NOW MORE THAN EVER!

Never before, have we needed to extend all the kindness and forgiveness to ourselves and others, than right here, right now. 



The most natural human response to such a threatening, uncertain time like we are living through right now... is FEAR, ANXIETY and DENIAL.

And, for those three gremlins to come out sideways as anger, outrage and toxic positivity.

This pandemic is scary. Full stop!  


Maybe you are the one with the short fuse... OR out there refusing to social distance because then, it feels too real... OR snapping at the ones you love... OR panic buying because it makes you feel in control during such a vulnerable, powerless situation.  

Maybe you are the one getting angry and resentful watching others do the above!


Either way, shaming ourselves or others... standing on the mountain top of self righteousness, and generally beating ourselves and our partners up right now?  None of those things, are clinically proven to stop the spread and symptoms of Covid 19.

They are not serving you, dearest one. 

Right now, more than ever, we need to extend kindness to ourselves and others and be really REALLY quick to forgive. 

Image Credit: Priscilla Du Prez via Unsplash

Image Credit: Priscilla Du Prez via Unsplash

 


We are truly living in unusual times, and the way people respond and our own behaviors are coming from a primal place of fear. 

Seek out ways today you can greet yourself and others with kind words and actions.

Grab onto forgiveness with both hands, when you or others fall short.

The only way through this, is together! 


Stay tuned, as I will be posting more tips for self care during this tumultuous time.

 
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