Oh snap! I’m addressing the dreaded post date ‘Fizzle Zone’ today!
The Feminista Seeks Love facebook group has been a buzz with this topic lately.
My private clients are always telling me the struggle is realAF.
Lucky for them and for YOU, I have just the cure for this well known woe!
And here you find yourself...
The hard work and swiping has paid off, you’ve met someone, hurrah!
The date was fab.. check!
They looked like their profile pic (hey now, not always a given)… check!
You laughed, connected and sparks flew. CH’CH’CH’ECK!!
BOOM! On to date two, right??
Um. Not so fast, my lovely.
In our modern age, and with our fulfilled amazing lives, often the first few dates can stretch out over months, not weeks! YIKES!
Maybe it’s you? Jetting off to India for a couple of weeks? Business trips to the west coast? Best friends wedding has you maid of honoring like whoa for the next two weeks!?
Maybe it’s them? They have a business trip? Their mothers 50th do up North? or some other shenanigans that have them unavailable for the next few weeks?
Either way, locking in those subsequent dates, is proving tricky.
Welcome to what can very quickly become THE FIZZLE ZONE.
We’ve all been there.
Stilted messages back and forth. Awkward salutations and ‘how are you’ snooze fest attempts to connect, then slowly AND very surely, the spark gets snuffed out and you never get out on the next date.
Momentum is EVERYTHING in this life... however, legit, there's just no time for another face to face meeting in the next couple of weeks!
So how do you keep up the momentum in the interim?
Forget the who texts who first, lady. We are well beyond that child’s play.
I’m about to give some REAL TALK on exactly HOW to keep your post date message game tight AND AND AND learn more about them while the weeks pass AND AND AND have fun!!! Um, yes, This whole dating thing?!?! It supposed to be one of the best times of your life!!
Crazy talk, right? Not your experience? Let’s change that, today!
Messages that offer value, provoke thought, trigger the memory sensors, ignite playfulness, offer eye catching visual stimulation, prompt the mind to engage and fuel the desire to continue that engagement all the while creating those all important smiles...WIN EVERY TIME!
The following is a fountain of tips and tricks on sending messages that not only engage someone to keep that momentum going, but attract the right person to you.
Wave goodbye to the tired old “Hey you”, “Whats up” and “How are you?” messages, cause we’re about to kill them with fire!
**WARNING** DO NOT Google ‘Dating message ice breakers’. The sheer volume of WTAF, creepazoid, hot mess that is those search results can not be unseen, lady! Good thing, I have come up with a killer list of ideas, so you can be spared that untimely google death! YIKES!
Ready? Away we go!
Hot Tip #1
KEEP IT FUN, KEEP IT LIGHT, KEEP IT VALUABLE.
Don’t be ‘that person’ who offers no value.
Engagement begets engagement, and RELATIONSHIPS are all about offering value to each other. Think about it, we want someone to share our lives with; someone who brings with them more laughter, happiness and companionship to our world.
We need to be able to offer that as well.
Not sure how to translate that into messages? No worries, I got you. In fact, the whole wide world has an endless fountain of next level engagement and value for you!
HELLLLLO 2017! We are surrounded by extreme engagement content everywhere we look! On social media, online, websites, Youtube, Giphy.com, our own phones that take amazing pics... heck, we need look no further than our very own timelines to find incredibly engaging content to pull from!
Hot Tip #2
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW
What did you two connect over on that first date? What common interests did you share?
Was it your shared love for running? So much laughter over who was the bigger excel nerd? A lively debate over 80’s hair metal vs 70’s glam? Did you spend 20 minutes comparing notes of your favorite foodie spots?
Whatever it was, these initial connections are our hefty building blocks, and build on them we shall!
IDEA 1 – Send them a pic of your lunch. Hey, food porn is called food porn for a reason. At one of your favorite foodie spots? Snap a pic of your lunch and send it with a note “Told you Eddies Tacos’ were the best in the city. Play your cards right, and I might just treat you to one of these bad boys on our next date”.
IDEA 2 – Snap a pic of your computer screens massive excel spreadsheet, send it off with “What do you know about Excel level ninja?!?”
IDEA 3 – Is your favorite running store having a mega sale? Send them a link! + “Wow, mega sale happening @ the best shop EVER for running gear! thought of you! Let me know if you score something sweet.”
IDEA 4- Send them a youtube link of your fav Guns & Roses video "Seriously? how can you deny the legend that is Sweet Child Of Mine?"
Hot Tip #3
Zoom in on ‘THEM’
Start with what they already told you about themselves. Fav TV show? Fav Band? Upcoming trip they are going on?
IDEA 1 – Head over to Giphy.com and grab a hilarious Simpsons Gif (or whatever TV show was their fav) and pop it into a message.
IDEA 2 – Is their fav band playing nearby this summer? Grab a link to the article about it and send it along with a note “Hey, just wanted to make sure you saw this… THEY’RE COMING TO TOWN! WOOT!”
IDEA 3 – The space between dates doesn’t mean we stop learning more about them as a person. Use an icebreaker that revealslike, "I am inviting you to my desert island… you can only bring 3 items, what will you bring "
When we listen, retain what people say about themselves and ask them to know more, we create human connection.
Hot Tip #4
Zoom in on YOU
Yes, fierce YOU, gorgeous!
Try these on for size;
IDEA 1 – Use that in hand multimedia. If you are indeed away on holiday, send them an image or video of the scenery or activities. Include a playful message, like “Oh snap, now THIS is where we should go on date 2!”
IDEA 2 – Did you see a video online that made you C R Y with laughter today? Send it! “This made my CRY with laughter, had to share. Hope it brightens your day in the same way”.
IDEA 3 – Icebreak that shizzle! "Here are three things about me, one of which is a lie. Guess which is the lie?" It's a classic, well curated, icebreaker AND also a cheeky, fun way to prompt engagement AND they learn more about you!
Hot Tip #5
Next level "How are you today"
Its not what you ask, its how you ask it.
IDEA 1 = “On a scale of 1-10, 1 being Clark Kent and 10 being Superman, how’s your day going?”
IDEA 2 – Maybe they’re off on a course which is why they couldn’t schedule date two, send “Hey Mr. Smarty Cute Pants, how’s the course going?”
IDEA 3- Declare a GIF war... HOW YOU DOOOOIN'?
My darlings, my dears, take the above… tweak them, flesh them out, make then your own and kiss that uncomfortable go nowhere fast messaging of yesteryear, GOOD BYE!
(p.s. including appropriate yet moderate emoji usage, is always encouraged!)
Any questions? The comment section is always open! Looking forward to hearing from you. xx
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