We hear the concept of Abundance more and more frequently today. The idea that we not only have enough, but more than enough. That the world has more than enough, love, clients, money, jobs, time, etc.. We are encouraged to take on the Abundant mindset as a tool to be more positive and by doing so we will consciously and unconsciously welcome all that ‘more than enough’ into your lives. What we do not hear about as much, is the concept of Scarcity. And educating ourselves on what that looks like and sounds like, is key to coming to believe why living in a more Abundant mindset can revolutionize the way we live, love and feel, every day. Let’s take a peek, shall we?
What is Scarcity?
The simplest definition; There is not enough. Often we wake up and from the very start of our day, we are thinking…There is not enough time, there is not enough money, there is not enough coffee in the world that can get me through this Monday! We continue on through our day, there are not enough trains, there are not enough people at my job to get the workload done, there is only one of me and so much work to do, there are not enough hours in the day. On a more personal, and damaging way, we can be thinking I am not pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough, smart enough, I don’t have as much training as I need, I don’t have the right clothes, enough shoes, the right haircut. I AM NOT ENOUGH.
Scarcity breeds quick too, heck I am starting to hyperventilate just writing this blog! YIKES!
Scarcity in Dating and Finding Love:
Let’s hit the biggest nail on the head, straight off. The Hollywood concept of ‘THE ONE’. Ooof, Scarcity XXL! We have been sold the idea that there is just one, magical, elusive soulmate in the world. Just a mere 1 person in 7.4 billion people in the world, that is for us. No wonder women keep saying to me, “its like looking for a needle in a haystack!!” And how easy from that staggering 1 in 7.4 billion cliff, to rock slide into fear, doubt and hopelessness. “How will I ever find them?” What if I have already missed them? What if I never find them? Put those scarcity glasses on in the dating world...desperation and panic can lead us to settling for someone who is not right for us at all. A step too far so easy to take when in the scarcity zone.
Scarcity in dating also looks and sounds like, All the good ones are taken, I don’t have enough time to meet anyone, I’m not open enough, I am not pretty enough, the dating pool where I live is too small, there are not enough single men or women here, and for some of us, scarcity takes some even lower blows… I am not good enough which is why I haven’t found THE ONE.
Applying Abundance to Dating and finding love:
How do we apply abundance to dating and love? First, we come to believe there is way more than just ONE right person for us out there in the world. We reject the Disney concept of true loves kiss being THE ONLY ONE to wake us from slumber and we welcome the idea that, whilst we are looking for true love, it does not just belong to some solitary elusive soulmate. Ask yourself “What if there were hundreds of possible perfect partners for you out there on the streets of your city or town right now, today?” How does that feel?
I was recently speaking with a client who lives in a more rural setting, she was regaling me with scarcity, of how few people are single where she lives. As we were talking, I took out my Google wand and waived it. Turns out there were something like 65,000 single men and women within a 10-mile radius of her… When I told her that simple, easy to find fact, the scarcity bubble burst big time. OH. OHHHHH. She had come to believe wholeheartedly, there were not enough. Now we could start talking about how to get out there and meet a healthy handful of those 65,000 and the whole idea went from hopeless task to hopeful opportunity.
Another woman I worked with, had her torch lit for a past love. They had been young, at university and he was all she could have and should have wanted. In her own words, at the time, she was too busy being young and carefree to see it. Now, she said, he was married with kids and she had missed her chance at that life. When we worked through the concept that he was one of many, that she no longer had to live in regret and could finally use that torch of what was so great about him, to light her way into the future of finding other people who could and would offer her ‘that life’ she began to truly move forward on the path of finding love. Free of regret and filled with abundant hope. And, it worked! WOOT!
Abundant living is all about application. When start applying Abundance, we do just that… we take action, one step at a time, to go from not enough, to enough to MORE than enough line by line, area by area. We tap into gratitude, looking at all we have and have done and we aren’t afraid to lose it or even give it away, because we know there is more out there to replenish it and that we are worthy of doing so. Abundant living, ups our confidence, increases are positiveness and opens are minds and hearts, which is absolutely the perfect mindset to have out there in the dating jungle. And, yes, jungles can be scary places where things howl in the night however jungles are also the perfect ecosystem for abundance, with more life teeming under every leaf and stone than anywhere else in the world! Oh yeah, see what I did there?
An Abundant mindset, also affords us the necessary cushion for bounce back and resilience. If someone you meet doesn’t work out, that’s okay cause there are more chances, more than enough good ones out there and hitting the NEXXXT button is now, way easier. Abundant living is not just uplifting, it’s incredibly motivating. Now that we know, there is more than enough time, money, amazing partners, AND that we are more than enough … anything is possible. So why wouldn’t we want to go out there, and get it!?! What are you waiting for my darling?
Have a question or topic you would like covered in the Love Letters? Shoot me a message here in the comments!
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